There's no "I" in "team" - ch.2

~(3 months ago)
It was great, everything was going so well. Super Junior won the Golden Record award, Super Junior M was nominated for Best Artist in China. Things couldn't have gotten better. It was also planned that we were to start on our 4th album soon. So far, the composers were working on our album, giving us time to rest up and prepare for the remaining Super Show II concerts. That was until "that" incident happened.
If I could had rewind time and start over.
If I could had said "NO" then.
If I could had listened to him. Helped him.
If I could had stop him
If I could had...........
Maybe, just maybe he won't have left Super Junior forever. Perhaps, not forever. Perhaps he wanted a short break.
He might have just wanted a short break from it all. This was what I wanted to believe.
Kibum did the same thing. Didn't he? Kibum is still part of Super Junior. At least the ELFs thinks so.

This wasn't something I prepared myself for. At least, not so suddenly. None of the Super Junior members were prepared for this.

~
"Heechul. I can't take this anymore. I've decided" Hankyung said, sitting in front of me after Super Junior came back to the dorm after a BBQ dinner.
"What did you decide? Hahaa, don't tell me, you decided to own all of China because Hong Kong wasn't good enough for you?" I laughed.
I had, or I should say we all had a little too much to drink. My mind wasn't exactly all that clear that night. Also, there was just me and Hankyung on the 11th floor dorm, everyone else went up to the 12th floor. They were there to execute some sort of punishment for the drinking game from earlier that night. But me and hankyung decided not to participate. It was only the two of us that night. In that dorm.
"I decided to leave Super Junior. No, not just leave Super Junior, but to leave SM as well." Hankyung said, there was seriousness in his tone.
"Haha, you're drunk Hankyung. Stop talking about silly things. Besides, you said that you'll leave SM so many times before. What made you say it again?" I laughed.
"Because many things happened. But this time I'm serious. I'm really sorry Heechul. I love you, but, loving you is not enough to take away my pain. I hope you understand. I really want you to understand." Hankyung said gently, while putting his hand on my cheeks. "You of everyone else, I want you to understand. Please do not get mad at me."

The coolness of Hankyung's hands made me fall a sleep.
The next morning I woke up. Hankyung was gone.
There was no note, no message, no Hankyung.

"He must have gone with Siwon to workout" I thought to myself. It wasn't surprising that Hankyung might have forgotten to leave a note.
Yawning, I got up, stretched, and headed for the fridge.
"Hehehe, Eunhyuk's strawberry milk. I bet he'll cry if I drink this" I thought to myself, as I grabbed the last box of strawberry milk from the fridge and slammed the door of the fridge shut. Slowly I made my way to the calender posted on the cabinet just above the stove and started reading out the schedule for today.

Just then, Siwon walked in the dorm with a Starbucks cup in one hand and an American newspaper in the other. As usual, Siwon walked in with grace and elegance, as if he was doing a photoshoot for a hidden camera.

"Ah! Siwon-ah. Where is Hankyung?" I asked.
"Good morning Hyung. I haven't seen Hankyung this morning. He might be up on the 12th floor." Siwon replied without taking his eyes off the newspaper.
"Oh, okay" I replied.

I walked up to the 12th floor, and as I opened the door. Leeteuk runs towards me and smacked his head on my chin.

"Ow... what did you do that for?" I asked, rubbing my chin. "You were about to destroy my beautiful face!"
"Oh, Heechul! We better go, manager-hyung told us to quickly gather at the SM meeting room on the 3rd floor." Leeteuk replied, as he quickly bent down to tie his shoelace.
Just behind Leeteuk, I saw the rest of the team rushing across the dorm, getting dress, eating breakfast and trying to clean up the room.

"Let's go let's go! Hurry up!" Leeteuk shouted to the other members. "Come on Heechul let's go"
Without another word, Leeteuk grabbed my arm and quickly pulled me away from the dorm and headed to the elevator.
"Wait, wait, Leeteuk have you seen Hankyung?" I asked, as Leeteuk dragged me into the elevator.
"Hankyung-ssi? I thought he was with you." Leeteuk replied, as he clicked the "P" button on the elevator.
"I woke up this morning, and I didn't see him anywhere. He didn't even leave a note." I said, as I stared at my reflection on the mirror inside of the elevator. "Oh, Leeteuk! My chin's all red now. AH! How am I suppose to go out now?" I exclaimed.
"Who cares? It'll be fine in a bit. It's not like my head is made of rock you know?" Leeteuk replied.

At that time, I was more concerned about my chin than the whereabouts of Hankyung. Maybe I should had been a bit more concern? No, ALOT more concern, then perhaps I was able to stop Hankyung from leaving so suddenly. Stopped him from leaving SM, leaving Super Junior, and leaving me.

~
Me and Leeteuk were the first ones to arrive at the meeting room. Slowly the rest of the members started walking in, then finally our managers came in. Still, there was no sign of Hankyung.
My heart raced, when the last manager shut the door behind him. I wanted to shout "WAIT! Hankyung's not here yet". But I didn't. I couldn't say it.

"First of all, I want to say sorry for calling all of you here so suddenly. I know it's also kind of early in the morning too." my manager said. There was lot of tense and seriousness in his voice.
He then continued.
"I know this might be shocking when I tell you why you have all gathered here for." he continued. "But please bear in mind that we've tried our best."

What he said next, blew my mind away. I wasn't able to sleep for a whole week. Perhaps more than a week.

"Hankyung have left Super Junior. He have decided to terminate his contract." my manager said.

Then it was dead silence. No one dared to move or talk for what seemed like an eternity. My mind went blank. I thought my manager wanted to pull a prank on us. I thought this was another of those hidden cameras. I thought that Hankyung will just burst through the door in a moment and laugh at us all and say it was a joke.
I wish that would have happened and that this was all just a hidden camera joke.
Leeteuk spoke first.

"Hahaha, you're kidding right? I'm pretty sure this is another of those hidden cameras." Leeteuk said, trying to lighten the mood. "And Hankyung is just in the other room listening to this."

"No. Hankyung's not in this building. This is not a joke. Do you seen any hidden cameras in this room?" my manager replied, there was a solemn look on him.
After he said that, many of the members got up and started looking around the room for the cameras.
Besides the CCTV camera on the top corner, there was no other hidden camera. None of hte managers moved from where they were.

"There's no camera" Kyuhyun said, looking worried.
"Yeah, I don't see any cameras" Sungmin said as he sat back down on his chair.
"Do you think this is a joke then?" my manager asked, in a grave voice.

All the member nervously glanced at each other, but no one replied to his question. Leeteuk slowly turned towards me. I think he wanted to say something to me. But he didn't. Leeteuk just looked at me the whole time, trying to figure out how I was reacting to all of this. I couldn't look at them. I couldn't look at the people sitting in that room. Then I started laughing. I laughed really loud. Everyone was staring at me. But I didn't mind, because at that moment, all I could do was laugh. I couldn't even control myself. I kept laughing until tears started to leak out from my eyes. Even then, I just laughed. Tears started to flow down my face and onto my clothes, but I continued to laugh. It was all I did when Hankyung left me. There was nothing more I could do.

~
Ch. 2 end.


Ch.3 teaser.

"Hey, Heebum." I said, cuddling the tiny fur ball into my arms. "How about we go drinking?"
"meow~" Heebum replied, looking up at me with his green eyes.
"What do you mean you don't drink?" I said, frustrated. "If you're not going to drink with me, who will?"
"meow~ meow~" Heebum replied, trying to escape from my grasp.
"Hey! Where are you going?" I shouted as Heebum jumped out from my arm and headed for the door. "Are you going to leave me too?"
Tears started to pour out from my eyes again.
"FINE! Leave me...lea...ve....me, dont' come back!" I choked, "I don't need you and I dont' need Hankyung!"

That was a lie.
I knew better than anyone else that I needed Hankyung. I didn't only want him to be by my side. I HAD to have Hankyung with me.
But I continued to lie to myself. I lied to myself about how Hankyung is going to walk into my room and said it was all a joke and that he didn't really mean it when he said he'll leave Super Junior.
The biggest lie must had been thinking that everything would be back to the way it was before.
Hankyung would be by my side again, and we would be together laughing, drinking, playing, singing and dancing.
In the end, I ended up crying alone.